The Age Cryptic by DA from 1st August,

Back for more of the weekly torment that is the DA puzzle. This one was back to being harder than the past two weeks but not hard enough to reduce me to whimpering. I may have stared at the puzzle, having only two answers, for about two hours before my brain began making connections and the answers came.

There was a theme and with an odd hint from Ian at the DA Trippers "7 down is a phrase most commonly encountered in Folstein’s Mini-Mental State Examination. Surely DA hasn’t been screened for dementia lately? "  which I googled out of curiosity more than a need to cheat - no, really! I got the main idea even though that hint was like trying to find coins in a sawdust pile. The top NB says : In fourteen 17-across, the wordplay deems the solution to have 7-down, which isn't effected. Definitions are normal.

Looking at 7-down: Sloppy blood transfusions - look out! I'm serious!
Here "Sloppy" is an anagrind and "blood transfusions" the fodder, but it has two extra letters. The phrase" Look out!" is an instruction to remove a synonym for look LO. If you mix up BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS  you will get the phrase NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS. This means that 14 clues in the puzzle will have the word IF AND or BUT added (never plural) to its answer which isn't parsed in the clue. The given definition is sound. Don't worry if that's confusing, it will make sense as we go along.

1A - Over-vaunted hockey sides reaching sport final in Holland (5)
"Over-vaunted" is our definition. "HockeY sides" means take the HY from the sides of hockey, "reaching sport" I'm not sure what "reaching" is for but "sport" = PE is a common cryptic device. "final in hollanD" means take the last letter from holland D for HY+PE+D = HYPED.

4A - Complex nutrient lost in pumpkin (9)
"Pumpkin" is our definition. "Complex nutrient" is anagrind and fodder but we have the extra instruction "lost in" saying take IN out of NUTRIENT leaving NUTRET. Now that's all there is parsed in the clue and we are three letters short of our answer. We need to add a three letter theme word either AND or BUT to get our answer: BUTTERNUT.

9A - Dismiss old brass (7)
 "Old brass" is the definition and "dismiss" = SACK but that all we get. We need to add one of the three letter theme words and here we want SACKBUT, the name of an old trombone.

10A - F-fire sign, we hear. for canine handlers? (7)
This took a while. I knew we were dealing with teeth and not dogs, but I was stuck thinking dentists were our "canine handlers." What we want is F + "fire sign homophone" the homophone hinted by "we hear"  is ARIES to give is FAIRIES.

11A - Backed broadcast by the Spanish for a vital period (8)
I didn't get this but I think it's solved like this: "Vital period" is the definition "Backed broadcast" is EMIT and we put that in backwards from the end of the grid space to read TIME. "Spanish" = EL, also backwards (Or it's LE forwards - I'm unsure) and we are two letters short. We can stuff the theme word IF in there to get LIFETIME.

12A - One attends hearing, perhaps, for judo teacher (6)
"Judo teacher" is the definition. "One" = I and "hearing" = SENSE and we put the I "at ends" to give SENSEI.

14A - Defensive wingers beat self-indulgence (9)
This clue needed stared at until my brain had a Eureka! "DefensivE wingers" mean take the first and last letters from defensive - its "wings" = DE and we want a word for "beat" = CADENCE to give us a word meaning "self-indulgence" DECADENCE.

16A - Clue-monger's girl (5)
I had cross letters and guessed using the theme. I didn't know if this was hinting to " His Girl Friday" or DA's girl? Am I to think of characters in the game/movie Clue? There's a theme word AND in there too so the answer is MANDY - am I missing a Barry Manilow hint? why is "clue-monger's girl" = MY?

17A - Slyly inspects suits (5)
Double definition clue. We need a word that works for both "slyly inspects" and "suits" answer is CASES suits meaning law suits. I'd had SPIES in there for a while thinking "men in suits"

18A - Convoy's lead limo stowed in spotted cutter (6,3)
Tough one, I had all the cross letters before I could get this and after how many years of This Old House and Norm Abram's The New Yankee Workshop (Yes, I nerd up on tool shows!) plus my Dad was a carpenter, you'd think it would be easier. "Convoy's lead" = C "limo" = ROLLS, "in spotted" = SAW (I spotted you hiding/ I saw you) breaks down like this S(C)(ROLLS)AW as SCROLL SAW for our "cutter"

20A- Honour wishes by phone (6)
"Honour" is our definition and we want a homophone for "wishes"  =  PRAYS or PRAISE.

21A - Clipped seagoing bureaucrat (8)
"Clipped seagoing" = MARINE -E for MARIN and then we have the definition "Bureaucrat" so we need one of our theme words to make up the letter shortfall: M (AND) ARIN

24A - Robot designer in recession (7)
"Robot" is our definition and "designer in recession" means to name a fashion designer and put that in backwards - DIOR = ROID. Nothing else to parse so we need a theme word to create ANDROID.

25A - 20-across attempted to bury diamonds (7)
I got this with cross letters and a guess: 20-across was PRAISE "attempted" could be TRIED and "bury Diamonds" could mean to ditch the D leaving TRIE and leaving us three letters short - add a theme word to get TRI(BUT)E - I think that works.

26A - The German screened trauma suffered in the brain (4,5)
With help from Lauren in the DAT, I can explain this: "26A Germans have a few ways of saying ‘the’. Mix that up with a scrambled word from the rest of the clue. " That gives us "The German" = DER and "TRAUMA suffered" is fodder + anagrind to give us D(URAMAT)ER or DURA MATER for "in the brain" Thanks Lauren! I needed that little nudge, and looks like I need remedial German, too.

27A - Kid's beginning in old newsagency jobs (5)
I got this with cross letters and a guess. "Jobs" is the definition and "Kid's beginning" = K but how "newsagency" = TASS I'm unsure but our answer is TASKS.

1D - Gets toboggan bugged (7)
This was another Eureka clue, Ugh! Should've seen it sooner! Double definition "Gets toboggan" (3,4) and "bugged" (7): HASSLED.

2D - Maybe Fijian Father Circle is corrupt (7,8)
"Fijian Father Circle?" WTF? Never heard of that? Google it and you'll see no one else has either. What's with the random capital letters? Tricky trickster - this is corrupt all right! I had a few cross letters and a hint from Indy at DAT "2D, defn first two words. Could have also used Samoan, etc. One of the 14. " that led me to guess PACIFIC ISLANDER. Ok here it goes: "Father" = PA + CIRCLE + IS + IF +AND - (yes here we need two of the theme words to make this work!) All mixed together to give us our answer. Double theme? Not warned about that, did I get that right?

3D - Maiden, bordering on dame (5)
"Maiden" is our definition, but not as a noun. "Bordering on DamE" = DE and we need a theme word to make up the rest: DEBUT.

4D - Is menu adapted to fulfil snack cover? (10)
Did not get this. Definition is "cover" and "is menu adapted" is fodder + anagrind and "snack" = BITE. Our answer goes like this BIT(UMENIS)E for BITUMENISE. Never heard that word before and having the B and T at the beginning I assumed it was a BUT.

5D - Spat 30cms upward (4)
I had cross letters and guessed TIFF was a synonym of "Spat" but I don't understand how 30cms = FFIT.

6D - Skinny lad joined empire struggle (9)
"Skinny" is our sort of definition and "lad joined empire" is fodder to be "struggled" to give us EPIDERMAL.

7D - (Solved at beginning)

8D - Cantankerous witness (7)
We need a word that means cantankerous that will morph into a word for witness. With cross letters in place it began to look like the answer was TESTIFY where TESTY was for cantankerous, so we add the theme word IF we get the word for "witness" if you think of witnessing in a religious manner.

13D - Listener laid into very strong performer on reality show (4,6)
Took me a while to get this. I knew the answer was going to be a "reality show" but which one? There are many. Would it be a current one or an old one, long since cancelled? The word play I think goes like this: "Listener" = EAR to be "laid into" a term for "very strong" = FF (forte forte) and "performer" = ACTOR which looks like F(EAR)FACTOR for the old show FEAR FACTOR.

15D - Campus accom sheltering campus do-gooder twice in gritty squall (4,5)
I did get this first try, I was well proud of myself! "Campus accom" = DORM which "shelters" or contains a "Do-gooder twice" = STST (saint saint) to give a word for a "gritty squall" is DUST STORM - only letter I can't account for is the U but I think it must come from the second "campus" for University, perhaps?

17D - US composer  to steal laptop (7)
I got this late and had to google. We are looking for a "US composer" and "steal" = COP which is a bit tenuous and slangy in the sense of "cop a feel" or "cop some flack" but one doesn't steal flack, they get it imposed upon themselves - so I could have that completely wrong. "Laptop" is a one word instruction saying to use the "top of Lap" = L so we have COPL and are three letters short so we use a theme word to get  COPLAND.

19D - Pitchers uncovered strays (7)
"Pitchers uncovered" I think means we need a word for "pitchers" and remove the first and last letters but I couldn't get the word. I was thinking "bowler" but it didn't work and I didn't want to slog through cricket glossaries. I guessed our answer with the definition being "strays" plus a theme word to get: WANDERS. So what word for "pitchers" is WERS? Turns out it wasn't cricket at all, and "uncovered" only wants the first letter removed - see it now? EWERS -E was where I needed to go.

22D - Tenor making quack trill at first (5)
"Tenor" is our definition but the noun and not the musical sense. "Quack" = DR and "Trill at first" means take the first letter from trill for T, then we need the two letter theme word IT for DRIFT.

23D- Modify current overhaul (4)
I'm not sure how this one is solved. I just figured "modify" and "overhaul" were synonyms and I've used "current" = I before and knew the word needed an I...Oh I just saw it. OK - Current = TIDE and "modify" in an anagrind...no that make that an indirect anagram and those are frowned upon. Maybe "overhaul" is a reversal indicator - that makes more sense. There we go, TIDE is reversed to make EDIT. Even easier clues become dreadfully hard after working a whole puzzle.

There! Done and dusted. I still have most of my weekend to enjoy, too. I hope you get to enjoy yours as well. Nice to not be getting pelted with hail. I have a quarter ton of lemon curd to make as a friend of mine dumped a tree's load of lemons on my doorstep, and there's only so much gin one can drink in a week. Maybe some lemon poppyseed cake? Any other lemony goodness recipes you'd like to share? I may need to make preserved lemons, Limoncello...